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Becoming 31

I stared at the ring on my finger, glittering beautifully under the light. But I found myself chewing on the side of my cheek in fear for as I close my eyes, right in front of me stared the most daunting role in the world – a wife, a mother. 
Pictures of memories came flooding in like ghouls – vivid memories of her. The woman whose hands were calloused of hard work yet always gentle (and strong) as they held mine. The woman whose deep voice echoed of joyous laughter, of firm discipline, of cries of frustrations. The woman whose knees were marked with wrestling in prayer, how she wouldn’t let go of the Mighty Hands until her petitions were heard, until she was blessed. The woman whose heart could contain vast oceans! The woman whose eyes reflected of otherworldly grace and wisdom. The woman, who, after years of struggles against her own fears, her own insecurities, her own pains, her own shortcomings, have learned to rest upon a Strong Fortress. 
Fear. Realizing I’d give everything to…
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Isn’t it too loud? Aren’t their voices domineering? So much that you can’t even hear Your own mind’s reasoning.
Haven't they lingered too long? Living in the shadows of This attic, locked up where no sunshine, nor harsh winds Have aided my growth.
But hush Feel the breeze. Something Is changing.
Hush, little girl. The man of the house will defend you now. Hush, little girl Be strong. He’s quieting All voices, chasing away the darkness.
Hush, little girl. Come out of your hiding And see, finally see How much you’ve already grown.
Hush now. Don’t be afraid. Stand your ground. The man of the house will defend you now.


Forty-five days ago, I walked down the aisle to start my life with this wonderful man God has blessed me with. But as the pastor talked about covenant and lifetime commitment, I knew that this was more than that. For me, walking down that aisle represented my long walk towards the promised land, after being drenched by my Savior's powerful blood that not only bought me out of my life-long slavery, but also, as it dripped down to the ground, has washed out my shame-soiled garment clean as white as snow. His wounds has become my healing. His death and resurrection became my life and hope. Behind me was the defeated Egypt -- my land of death, sin, and shame. My Redeemer has proven Himself true to His Word -- He has taken me out of Egypt and has immediately begun His good work of taking the dross of Egypt out of me. 
This was only the beginning. 
Forty-five days ago, I walked down the aisle stretching out my hand to hold the stronger hand that awaited me. Forty-five days ago, I knew my …

A Wedding Prayer

March 4, 2017
My Gilbert, I will fall short. As the Scriptures, like a floodlight, Expose more and more of my own character I know I will fall short, So much that so many times I was tempted to take a step back Frightened, that the more That light exposes all my flaws, You might end up being the one Who changes his mind and walks away. This was the fear that this fallen world Has placed in my heart.
But then you look at me, You always look at me With such tenderness and Understanding and love, As if I am the most precious Creature you’ve ever seen. It is, for me, inconceivable, To see me in my brokenness And insecurities and still lovingly Smile. Then it dawned on me, Reminding me of my silent prayer That someday, there would be a man Who would look at me, as Christ Looked at His blood-redeemed Bride, saying: "you are altogether beautiful my darling... there is no blemish in you."
Yes, it dawned on me. Beholding the path you’ve Been striving hard to follow -- …

Preach the Bible, Not Your Dog.

The Video Below. Is. Really. Good.
One thing I learned throughout years is that, yes, personal testimonies are very encouraging to listen to, but they do not compare to the encouragement I get upon hearing (or reading) the Word of God. In fact, I could learn a lot and be encouraged from the lives of those in the Bible.
I had my fair share of listening to pastors reading a verse in the Bible, followed by their anecdote and how their experience related to that Scripture portion. But what a great difference it made when I started working for RBI*, where my boss would always begin the week with a Bible study and group prayer. We'd study the life or Apostle Paul or of Joseph, the Dreamer, or of John the Baptist for weeks -- just going through the Bible, knowing these people, and thereby, knowing the GOD whom they worship. Nothing strengthened my faith more than knowing that I am worshiping the same God that they did!
I am blessed that God led me to a new church (Harbor Of Grace Reform…


Fancy how a young timid girl who once contemplated taking her own life after seeing no purpose for it, thinking that people live only to die, would eventually mature into womanhood knowing now that every breath that puffs out of her lungs each morning is but God’s mercy and grace. Every single day now comes with a battle for holiness – a war between a redeemed soul against flesh accursed – yet never fearing, never losing hope for, as promised, the battle isn’t hers but of her King who has already overcome the world. Every single day is like being thrown into a fiery furnace heated seven times, yet not scorched, rather she’s being refined, and her Savior is with her at all times. Every single day now comes with a glorious hope, that after being redeemed from Egypt, everything of Egypt will be stripped off of her, although painfully so at times, until she is made worthy to enter the Promised Land and dwell in the presence of her King.
Yes, fancy a young timid girl who had no purpose –…
If you have been truly born again, if you are truly God's child, He WILL change you and make you holy. The Holy Spirit will convict you of your sins, reveal to you your spiritual depravity, He will break you. And as you look up from your nothingness, you will see the very essence of the Cross, the redemptive work of the Lamb of God. And on that Cross, in Christ, you will find your hope! If you are truly God's, He will change you! He will sanctify you. He will not share you with this world. He will prepare you for eternity. He will make you holy for He is holy.